Reply

Yuzi:

Thank you for your serious answer, I am truly moved. Please forgive me for daring to ask this question that has been pent up for years, seemingly because I had too much to drink; perhaps it also has to do with the beard.

You are a very perceptive person, or perhaps we see the world in similar ways. I agree with your view, and I am grateful for the efforts you have made in our relationship. I understand that the special nature of Ran and my relationship seems to have greatly affected the relationship among the four of us. Actually, I do not think you hate me (although we do not contact each other much), and I even feel that the parts where we communicate are quite smooth. It is just that Zhang Ran repeatedly expresses it this way (actually we all know what she needs), and out of rebellion I want to disprove it (am I the one shirking responsibility?).

We contact each other too little, and perhaps there was not much to talk about to begin with. How effective is trying to be fair? Actually, without talking, there is no way to know. As for conflicts of ideas, no one has ever aligned on this granularity, and it seems no one truly has the motivation to bring up this need (does today count?). It is easy for a person to back up their friend; being caught in the middle is difficult. If someone is willing to listen, I am very happy to tell my version. Memory is reshaped in emotion; no matter who tells it, it is only a novel.

I understand your choice, you also understand Beard's choice, and Beard also understands my choice. I hope the whole world gives the whole world a chance. I increasingly dislike looking down on people and sentencing them to death; who am I to judge. The relationship among the four of us has reached this point today; I am a great sinner, and Zhang Ran is a small sinner. Unfortunately, we can never again gather a table of mahjong, and no one can return to that summer again.

People are always changing, constantly changing direction. Who can carve a boat to seek a sword? Being nostalgic in relationships is not necessarily a virtue. Once vows of eternal love or unforgettable memories will weather away; only the result tells us what kind of adults we ultimately became. Who cares? Who can predict? What we once wanted to change or now want to achieve—will it ultimately become mere conversation material? But the feelings of that moment are important, and no matter how later denied or changed, they cannot be erased.